Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize