Whod you bang
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
