Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
