Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
