So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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