Sry I called you an 8
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
