Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Alive.
So much puke
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
