I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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