Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
