Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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