problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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