everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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