I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
