absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
