Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize