I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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