Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
