Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
