I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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