i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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