I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
