another moral hangover. fuck.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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