You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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