I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
