I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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