woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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