THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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