"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
