Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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