the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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