ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just tell him i said nine months
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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