Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
