Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
