chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize