Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
