How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Randomize
