I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Never joke about your clitoris.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
