I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My first STD was from a foam party
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
