So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
