I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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