i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
