OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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