see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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