I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize