Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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