im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
