like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
