brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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