I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
