Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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