I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize