Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
