Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
