Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
