My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
