Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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