We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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