i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
