You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
