so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
