Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I want a musical about memes.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize