Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
