OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
