Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
