There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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