I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
