It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
