Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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