he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
