Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
