is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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