sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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