i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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