Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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