I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i was born a porn star she said
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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