I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
