She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
